Dear Miss Single

Dear Miss Single,

Every day, you look in the mirror and ask yourself if there is something wrong with you.

You wonder if it's your weight, your clothes, your hair or your weirdness that is unappealing.

You find yourself wanting so much to be in a relationship but since no one comes along, you pretend that single-blessedness is the best thing in the world and for a time, you'd almost believe it.

And then you start reinventing yourself. You change your quirks little by little. When your friends tell you that you have ugly taste in clothes, you scour the magazines for the latest trends. When someone criticizes your weird laugh or your nose, you’d begin to change all that until nothing can be criticized out of you.

And then Mr. Please-Let-Him-Be comes along.

You’d meet by chance. Maybe a friend would introduce you or you’d meet him at the train station. You’d spark a conversation until you become friends. He would make you happy and you would make him happy. You’d text, chat, call each other and you’d be there for each other in all heartaches and problems. In all these charades, at the back of your mind, you’d want him to ask you to be his girlfriend. Besides, it is the label that is missing after all. But he wouldn’t make the move. He wouldn’t ask you nor will you ask him. And then you’d eventually go your separate ways. And you would find yourself wondering again, was it you?

What you fail to realize is that you've made yourself the perfect “potential” girlfriend. You are willing to laugh at the lousiest jokes, willing to go wherever he pleases, willing to change every bit of you, willing to do even the most tedious of things just to make him happy. And although he appreciates all of your efforts, Mr. Please-Let-Him-Be will remain to be exactly just that – a wish.

Guys are not idiots, you see and you have to admit, most of the things you’d been doing is but a charade and we can sense that. You, yourself, might even believe that the way you act and do things are you but we would know that it’s phony. And phony is one of the greatest turn-offs.

You have made yourself Little Miss Perfect. And no guy would ever want to marry or get into a relationship with Miss Perfect.  If we wanted Miss Perfect, then we would have married our mothers.

So do yourself a favor. Change is good but don't change what are innately you. You see, guys fall in love with their girlfriends and wives not because they are perfect but because they find their partners’ sense of vulnerability and being true, charming. It doesn’t matter if a girl has a screechy singing voice, a weak knee, or terrible cooking skills because we can always put up with that. Besides, it’s what we are there for – to compliment and help you with your weaknesses. It makes us happy when we are needed. It empowers us, it makes us feel like we are the MEN in the relationship. Miss Perfect? Miss Perfect doesn’t need a man. She just need herself – and her cat.

Don't be afraid to laugh silly. Don't be afraid if in one of your bad days, you have the worst of hair or you have the lousiest of style in clothes, all of those we get and understand. And if we like you enough, we would still move forward with our intents because love after all has a weird way of bringing people together.

Lastly, if you are to fall in love, don't fall for a prince. He will only break your heart. A prince these days is either a phony or a player.

Guys or Mr. Right as you prefer to call him, do not come into this world as perfect packages with all the right attributes of a prince. Often, they come in different shades of messed up disguised as paupers. It takes a good woman to help them realize the potential great men that they are.

Yes, with the right love and patience, the pauper you fall in love with can become someone better than a prince - they can become your loyal lifetime partners.

If you’re done reading this, please know that I, too, am waiting for you.
I’ve change little about myself.  On most days, I have messy hair and I don’t put perfume. I curse a lot and I have several tattoos. I have friends who are thugs and I hang with them every day while you’re not here.

All I’m hoping for is that when we meet, you wouldn’t judge me.
And I’m praying that when I do meet you, it would be one of your most bad of days so that I can let you know that I can be there for you when you need me.

I am really looking forward to meeting you.

But until then, take care.

Yours,

Mr. Single